Who is your man?
Jeff DeBruler
How long have you been together?
Since December of 2003-or at least that's when we met and I fell head over heels for him. We have seen each other *just* about everyday since the day we met, minus half a dozen days, or so, when he goes out of town to drag races. We married in May of 2006.
How long did you date?
2 yrs and 5 months-including engagement.
How old is your man?
33-he'll be 34 in October.
Who eats more?
Honestly, right now, I do because I'm nursing and I feel like I'm starving to death all the time. But if I'm unpregnant and not nursing (haven't seen those days in a while!) then he would eat more than me.
Who said "I love you" first?
Funny story, I was CRAZY about him and knew that I was in love with him but we hadn't been dating all that long so I was afraid to say it - I didn't want to scare him off, and it would have crushed me if he had rejected me after telling him how much I loved him. So, after I had put Summer and JD to bed one night, Jeff came over to see me (at that point I wasn't letting him spend a great deal of time with my children-wanted to make certain he was a sure thing). We were watching TV and he leaned over and told me that he felt like he was falling in love with me, I got all flustered because I felt the same way and told him that I KNEW I was in love with him, so...there you have it, I guess technically he said it first.
Who is taller?
He is.
Who sings better?
Jeff doesn't sing so I would have to say that I am the better singer. Yeah, I am definitely a good singer, anyone who has ever heard me sing tells me how amazing my voice is. Often they say things like, "Interesting, I've never heard anything like that before." What a compliment, my voice must truly be one of a kind.
Who is smarter?
We both have our areas of expertise. There's a lot of things that he knows that I don't, common sense kinda stuff. But I'm more the book smart type, I know a lot of worthless, random information.
Who's temper is worse?
Well, we each have different ways that we handle ourselves. I just kind of fly off the handle and start yelling and rambling, then I'm done, I'm over it. Jeff hardly ever, ever gets mad about anything, but when he's had enough - you better clear out! We both have tempers, I show mine off more often than he does.
Who does the laundry?
We both do-however, at some point in the near future, my children will take over that job.
Who takes the trash out?
We both do-but JD helps most of the time, and soon he will be able to take that job over, he needs time to bulk up a little, trash is heavy to lift.
Who sleeps on the right side of the bed?
We both do-(hee, hee) .
Who pays the bills?
I currently keep up with the check writing and balancing the check book. However, Jeff will take over those responsibilities very soon because I need a break! But really, it's pretty mutual. There are no secrets, we both know how much $ we have, or don't have. We both know when bills are do, he may drop off a payment here or there if he's in town. We are pretty much on the same page when it comes to that sorta stuff.
Who is better with the computer?
He is.
Who mows the lawn?
He does for now. Again, just waiting patiently for my children to get a little older. There will come a day when Jeff won't have to mow anymore and that responsibility will belong to one of the kids.
Who cooks dinner?
Me, most of the time. Unless we grill out. My husband is, hands down, the best "meat cooker", whether it be grilling, frying, baking, BBQing, -he's way better than me.
Who drives when you are together?
He does. I really like for my husband to drive. I think he's cute and when he drives, it gives me a chance to look at him.
Who pays when you go out?
Does it matter, he's the only one making the money, so I guess technically, he pays! Usually though, when we go out, he will pay the bill.
Who is the most stubborn?
Me, no him, no me, no-definitely him, mostly me and usually him...it's a secret.
Who is the first to admit when they are wrong?
We are both still learning to do this. I, however, am really good at admitting when *he* is wrong, but I don't think that was the question.
Who's parents do you see most often?
We see my Mom more often because she lives so close. His parents and my Dad live out of town.
Who kissed who first?
I attacked him first, but I forewarned him that it was going to happen if he didn't stop lookin' so darn handsome all the time, and he always smelled so good! So I might have kissed him first, but he made me do it... it was his fault.
Who asked who out?
It was a blind date. However, he was gracious enough to go out with me after I stood him up twice!
Who proposed?
He did, he gave me my ring in this HUGE box with this cheesy note in it that said,"Will you marry me?" We never set a date though. The wedding date was set when this conversation came up..."Uh, babe, I'm pregnant. I guess we should get married ASAP?"
Who is more sensitive?
Me--I win that one every time!
Who has more friends?
Definitely, him. I have "acquaintances", but not really all that many friends-this sounds awful, but I don't make time for friendships at this point in my life. Jeff works with his best friend everyday so it's easier for him to nurture that relationship. My closest friends are my sisters, my mother, and Jeff-those are the people that I see or talk to everyday.
Who has more siblings?
I have 2 sisters and 2 step-siblings. Jeff has 3 half siblings. How do ya figure that up?
Who wears the pants in the family?
He does.
How did you meet?
My sister introduced us.
Wednesday, July 16, 2008
Friday, July 11, 2008
Summer
A terrible thing has happened...terrible, awful, horrible. I must have the MOST disobedient daughter on the face of the planet. I cannot believe that my sweet little girl would go and do something that I specifically told her NOT to do. She will most certainly be grounded for eternity. You won't believe it, I can't believe it, guess what she went and did...
She Turned 9!!!!
On Wednesday my oddest, I mean oldest child, had her ninth birthday. I was 21 when she was born and even though I am oh so furious with her for turning one year older, I am going to tell everyone who is reading this nine reasons why I love my SumSum!
Nine Reasons Why I Love My Daughter SOOO Much
1. She is the person who made me a mommy. She gave me the greatest job in the world.
2. She is my second set of hands. There are many, many things that I could never get done without her help.
3. She use to call Mermaids 'Wormaids'...I never corrected her because it was so adorable.
4. She is the only child who has freckles like me.
5. She lets me read her stories. Even though she knows how to read and has read *just* about every book in our house, she knows it makes me happy to cuddle up next to her and read her a story...and as corny as that is, she still lets me.
6. My daughter is BEAUTIFUL! She is one on the most beautiful people I have ever seen. Most importantly though, she has a beautiful heart. She is generous, she is mannerly, she is witty. I can't wait to see the awesome woman that she will be someday. And although, when she is grown, I will still be her mom I am most excited to be her friend.
7. She is strong! I am amazed at her physical strength, she is NO wimp. But she is also mentally strong. She is very outspoken and confident, and is not easily swayed by others remarks or thoughts.
8. She is brave. I am in awe of her courage to stand up for what she believes in, even at such a young age.
9. And the most important reason why I love Summer so much is because I know that God created her and made her my daughter. She is a wonderful young lady and I am a better person for having her in my life!
Happy Birthday Summer, I Love You!
She Turned 9!!!!
On Wednesday my oddest, I mean oldest child, had her ninth birthday. I was 21 when she was born and even though I am oh so furious with her for turning one year older, I am going to tell everyone who is reading this nine reasons why I love my SumSum!
Nine Reasons Why I Love My Daughter SOOO Much
1. She is the person who made me a mommy. She gave me the greatest job in the world.
2. She is my second set of hands. There are many, many things that I could never get done without her help.
3. She use to call Mermaids 'Wormaids'...I never corrected her because it was so adorable.
4. She is the only child who has freckles like me.
5. She lets me read her stories. Even though she knows how to read and has read *just* about every book in our house, she knows it makes me happy to cuddle up next to her and read her a story...and as corny as that is, she still lets me.
6. My daughter is BEAUTIFUL! She is one on the most beautiful people I have ever seen. Most importantly though, she has a beautiful heart. She is generous, she is mannerly, she is witty. I can't wait to see the awesome woman that she will be someday. And although, when she is grown, I will still be her mom I am most excited to be her friend.
7. She is strong! I am amazed at her physical strength, she is NO wimp. But she is also mentally strong. She is very outspoken and confident, and is not easily swayed by others remarks or thoughts.
8. She is brave. I am in awe of her courage to stand up for what she believes in, even at such a young age.
9. And the most important reason why I love Summer so much is because I know that God created her and made her my daughter. She is a wonderful young lady and I am a better person for having her in my life!
Happy Birthday Summer, I Love You!
Saturday, July 5, 2008
Like this little child...
Something happened to me last week at church that changed my heart. I would like to tell you that it was something that the pastor said or maybe a song that was played, but it wasn't. It wasn't a testimony of God's forgiveness or healing. It wasn't a praise for an answered prayer. It wasn't because someone rededicated their life to Christ or got baptized. It was none of those things. Something happened during church that was seen by only my husband and I.
My son... my sweet son, JD, pulled a dollar bill out of his pocket during offering and placed it in the offering bag. He was not told to do this and he did not ask me for money, it was his own. He didn't give his dollar because someone was watching or because he wanted praise, he didn't even know that we saw him do it. After the service he didn't brag about it or ridicule someone else who he noticed had not given. He gave his own money out of his own penny bank, it was probably the only dollar in there or maybe the only one he could reach with his little fingers. None-the-less, I was proud and ashamed all at the same time.
See, he didn't learn that from me because I am not an obedient giver. I tell myself that *next* week there will be some money left over to tithe, I'll give *next* week. I tell God that when the checking account looks better then I'll start giving regularly. As soon as the school clothes are purchased, then I'll be able to budget in my 10% tithes. I tell God that I'll do some volunteer work-that will be my tithes and offerings. The truth is that I tithe only when I have extra money, only when it is convenient for me. Only when I have no other obligations.
This lack of obedience is a testament to how weak my faith is. On the 'Cardboard Testimonies' video from my previous post, there was an older gentleman that held up a sign that said "God Robber". I felt a lump in my throat, that was ME...along with several other signs that I saw. I am robbing God, I am stealing from Him. He gifts me with so many blessings EVERYDAY and I have the nerve to sit in church and give him nothing in return, and he asks for so little-I don't even given him the few pennies on the dollar that he asks for.
God promises that he will take care of us if we tithe! He promises that by sacrificing our hard earned money (that just doesn't seem to go as far as it needs to) he will pour out the blessings. Listen to God's own words...
"Bring the whole tithe into the storehouse, that there may be food in my house. TEST ME IN THIS," says the Lord Almighty," and see if I will not throw open the floodgates of heaven and pour out so many blessings that you will not have room enough for them." Malachi 3:10
I try to be a living example for my children, but last Sunday my son was the example for me. God told JD to give his own money for an offering and JD obeyed without question, without need for praise or attention, without placing judgement on others...God told him to do something-JD obeyed. That command had to come from God, because that was not the example that I had set for him.
Tomorrow in church I will be tithing. I will follow the example that my son has set for me.
Jesus said, "I tell you the truth, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Therefore, whoever humbles himself like this little child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven." Matthew 18:3 and 4
Yes Lord, I hear you loud and clear.
My son... my sweet son, JD, pulled a dollar bill out of his pocket during offering and placed it in the offering bag. He was not told to do this and he did not ask me for money, it was his own. He didn't give his dollar because someone was watching or because he wanted praise, he didn't even know that we saw him do it. After the service he didn't brag about it or ridicule someone else who he noticed had not given. He gave his own money out of his own penny bank, it was probably the only dollar in there or maybe the only one he could reach with his little fingers. None-the-less, I was proud and ashamed all at the same time.
See, he didn't learn that from me because I am not an obedient giver. I tell myself that *next* week there will be some money left over to tithe, I'll give *next* week. I tell God that when the checking account looks better then I'll start giving regularly. As soon as the school clothes are purchased, then I'll be able to budget in my 10% tithes. I tell God that I'll do some volunteer work-that will be my tithes and offerings. The truth is that I tithe only when I have extra money, only when it is convenient for me. Only when I have no other obligations.
This lack of obedience is a testament to how weak my faith is. On the 'Cardboard Testimonies' video from my previous post, there was an older gentleman that held up a sign that said "God Robber". I felt a lump in my throat, that was ME...along with several other signs that I saw. I am robbing God, I am stealing from Him. He gifts me with so many blessings EVERYDAY and I have the nerve to sit in church and give him nothing in return, and he asks for so little-I don't even given him the few pennies on the dollar that he asks for.
God promises that he will take care of us if we tithe! He promises that by sacrificing our hard earned money (that just doesn't seem to go as far as it needs to) he will pour out the blessings. Listen to God's own words...
"Bring the whole tithe into the storehouse, that there may be food in my house. TEST ME IN THIS," says the Lord Almighty," and see if I will not throw open the floodgates of heaven and pour out so many blessings that you will not have room enough for them." Malachi 3:10
I try to be a living example for my children, but last Sunday my son was the example for me. God told JD to give his own money for an offering and JD obeyed without question, without need for praise or attention, without placing judgement on others...God told him to do something-JD obeyed. That command had to come from God, because that was not the example that I had set for him.
Tomorrow in church I will be tithing. I will follow the example that my son has set for me.
Jesus said, "I tell you the truth, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Therefore, whoever humbles himself like this little child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven." Matthew 18:3 and 4
Yes Lord, I hear you loud and clear.
Friday, July 4, 2008
Watch this
This is what God's grace is all about!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RvDDc5RB6FQ
I would like to invite anyone who reads this blog to come and visit my home church, Living Water, this Sunday. Come as you are, I will have my bluejeans on and Jeff will be wearing his Redwings. There is a smoke pit out front, and drums and a base guitar in the sanctuary. I'll be saving a seat for ya!
http://www.lwclife.com/
We were created to be free from sin.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RvDDc5RB6FQ
I would like to invite anyone who reads this blog to come and visit my home church, Living Water, this Sunday. Come as you are, I will have my bluejeans on and Jeff will be wearing his Redwings. There is a smoke pit out front, and drums and a base guitar in the sanctuary. I'll be saving a seat for ya!
http://www.lwclife.com/
We were created to be free from sin.
Tuesday, June 24, 2008
The Name Game
I just got finished reading a blog that I like to visit and today the topic was how she chose names for her children. It was mildly interesting, so for lack of a better topic, I thought that I would write about the same.
First I must say that I firmly believe a child should have a meaningful name. It makes me cringe when I hear a parent say, "Well I just liked that name." I know there are some lovely people out there who have no reason/purpose for giving their child a certain name, but for me personally (and this is MY blog, so if you don't want to hear MY opinion, please exit to the right) I just believe that if you have a name for ALL your life, you should at least have an interesting story about it. Secondly, I think that if children are given biblical or family names, it grounds them to some extent, it gives them a feeling of connection-I mean, there was a reason that you adored that person enough to give your child their name so it must be meaningful to you, right?
So, in the beginning, there was Sumsum ....Summer was born in July(hence, the middle of summertime). Also, when I was in college at WKU, I had a friend who's name was Summer and I always thought that was the coolest name! Now the truth comes out....toward the end of our friendship, Summer sorta "went off the deep end" and took up employment at a respectable establishment in Bowling Green called 'Tattle Tails' where she was schooled in the fine art of exotic dancing. However, I still always thought she had a really great name and so I gave it to my daughter. (I am now kicking myself in the butt for the stupid comment that I made in the above paragraph about giving your child a meaningful name!) So the joke among my sisters is that I named my child after a stripper...Ha,Ha! ANYWAYS! Summer's middle name is Mikala, she was named after my dad Michael.
In line to the throne is King James. My sweet son. He was named after the matriarchs in his family tree. JD's grandmother's (on his dad's side) maiden name was James and my maiden name was Davis, so he was given the name James Davis, ie: JD. Doesn't James Davis Taylor sound like a future president's name? Maybe a doctor of a medical foundation, or president and CEO of a large and successful corporation, ....or the name of a man who lives next door to his mother all his life and mows her yard and goes to the grocery for her at her beck and call. Doesn't it sound like the name of a gentleman who drives his mother to church every Sunday and to homemakers on Tuesday mornings? Scratch the whole president, doctor, and CEO thing. JD's never leaving his momma!
Then I gave birth to my third child which actually turned out to be a bear. From the beginning he was given the nick name 'Baby Bear' because he looks like a sweet angelic baby, but acts like a rowdy, destructive bear. Colton is unbelievably strong and constantly active. He is, by far, my most hard-headed child, which he undoubtedly gets from his father (for some reason people always roll their eyes and begin to whisper when I say that)! "Colton" is actually his middle name, his first name is Jeffrey and he was named after his dad-Jeff. Jeff is also the name of my husband so it worked out really well...JOKING people!
And bringin' up the rear is Sydney-poo. Sydney's middle name is Ellen and she was named after my mother. Some of my family calls her Little Sydel. (Sydney and Ellen combined). I have an uncle who calls her 'Ellie'. She'll probably grow up answering to anything...I can just hear Dede now, "Hopefully she won't be answering to the name *Cherry* or *Lady Diva*...didn't you have any other 'respectable' friends you could name your youngest daughter after?"
Shut up...Dede!
First I must say that I firmly believe a child should have a meaningful name. It makes me cringe when I hear a parent say, "Well I just liked that name." I know there are some lovely people out there who have no reason/purpose for giving their child a certain name, but for me personally (and this is MY blog, so if you don't want to hear MY opinion, please exit to the right) I just believe that if you have a name for ALL your life, you should at least have an interesting story about it. Secondly, I think that if children are given biblical or family names, it grounds them to some extent, it gives them a feeling of connection-I mean, there was a reason that you adored that person enough to give your child their name so it must be meaningful to you, right?
So, in the beginning, there was Sumsum ....Summer was born in July(hence, the middle of summertime). Also, when I was in college at WKU, I had a friend who's name was Summer and I always thought that was the coolest name! Now the truth comes out....toward the end of our friendship, Summer sorta "went off the deep end" and took up employment at a respectable establishment in Bowling Green called 'Tattle Tails' where she was schooled in the fine art of exotic dancing. However, I still always thought she had a really great name and so I gave it to my daughter. (I am now kicking myself in the butt for the stupid comment that I made in the above paragraph about giving your child a meaningful name!) So the joke among my sisters is that I named my child after a stripper...Ha,Ha! ANYWAYS! Summer's middle name is Mikala, she was named after my dad Michael.
In line to the throne is King James. My sweet son. He was named after the matriarchs in his family tree. JD's grandmother's (on his dad's side) maiden name was James and my maiden name was Davis, so he was given the name James Davis, ie: JD. Doesn't James Davis Taylor sound like a future president's name? Maybe a doctor of a medical foundation, or president and CEO of a large and successful corporation, ....or the name of a man who lives next door to his mother all his life and mows her yard and goes to the grocery for her at her beck and call. Doesn't it sound like the name of a gentleman who drives his mother to church every Sunday and to homemakers on Tuesday mornings? Scratch the whole president, doctor, and CEO thing. JD's never leaving his momma!
Then I gave birth to my third child which actually turned out to be a bear. From the beginning he was given the nick name 'Baby Bear' because he looks like a sweet angelic baby, but acts like a rowdy, destructive bear. Colton is unbelievably strong and constantly active. He is, by far, my most hard-headed child, which he undoubtedly gets from his father (for some reason people always roll their eyes and begin to whisper when I say that)! "Colton" is actually his middle name, his first name is Jeffrey and he was named after his dad-Jeff. Jeff is also the name of my husband so it worked out really well...JOKING people!
And bringin' up the rear is Sydney-poo. Sydney's middle name is Ellen and she was named after my mother. Some of my family calls her Little Sydel. (Sydney and Ellen combined). I have an uncle who calls her 'Ellie'. She'll probably grow up answering to anything...I can just hear Dede now, "Hopefully she won't be answering to the name *Cherry* or *Lady Diva*...didn't you have any other 'respectable' friends you could name your youngest daughter after?"
Shut up...Dede!
Friday, June 20, 2008
This very moment...
Outside my window
It is raining and I see an empty swing set, and a wet dog that wants to come inside, but I won't let her because she'll stink up my house.
I am thinking
about how nice it would be to lose 30 lbs. and fit into my summer wardrobe.
I am thankful for
allrecipes.com. Why do I keep my recipe books? I never use them! This is probably one of my most favorite websites in the whole universe.
From the kitchen
for lunch...cheeseburgers and baked potatoes. For dinner...haven't thought that far ahead. I will probably have to go to the grocery for dinner stuff. Also, I need to wash my dishes, which I detest doing!
I am wearing
my frumpy PJ's
I am going
To my mom's house this afternoon to let her dog out to potty, to the grocery store, and to clean out my vehicle because "something" stinks and it is coming from the direction of JD's seat...probably wet socks or a dead pet cicada in his cupholder.
I am reading
the book of James in the bible. It is short and uncomplicated, and it gives great advise about the danger of "words". I find that I often need to show great self-control in this area.
" The tongue is the smallest part of the body but is the most dangerous. A great forest can be set on fire by just a spark. In the same way, the mouth also can be a fire...it can corrept the whole person and destroy the course of ones life with words." James 3:5 and 6 (paraphrased)
I am hoping
that Summer is having a wounderful time at camp. I hope she is safe and is learning about God and making lots of friends, and I hope that she is looking forward to coming home because I have missed her so much.
I am hearing
the crunch of Cheetos in my ear. I feel the pecking of a cheesy finger on my shoulder and the sweet little words of my son asking me if he can have an Ale81 to go along with the chips that he is eating at 10 in the morning. Excuse me a moment while I tell him no and wipe the cheese off my shirt.
Around the house
Both the little ones are sleeping, the kittens are playing in the house, the wet dog is still outside glaring at me thru the window, JD is watching Disney channel, and there is lots to be cleaning so I need to finish this up.
One of my favorite things
my porch swing that Jeff got me for my 29th birthday last year. This year for my 29th birthday I think I'll ask for a gift certificate to my new favorite clothing store, and next year for my 29th birthday, I am planning on asking for new paint in my bedroom.
*May you see the blessing in whatever it is that you are doing this very moment.*
It is raining and I see an empty swing set, and a wet dog that wants to come inside, but I won't let her because she'll stink up my house.
I am thinking
about how nice it would be to lose 30 lbs. and fit into my summer wardrobe.
I am thankful for
allrecipes.com. Why do I keep my recipe books? I never use them! This is probably one of my most favorite websites in the whole universe.
From the kitchen
for lunch...cheeseburgers and baked potatoes. For dinner...haven't thought that far ahead. I will probably have to go to the grocery for dinner stuff. Also, I need to wash my dishes, which I detest doing!
I am wearing
my frumpy PJ's
I am going
To my mom's house this afternoon to let her dog out to potty, to the grocery store, and to clean out my vehicle because "something" stinks and it is coming from the direction of JD's seat...probably wet socks or a dead pet cicada in his cupholder.
I am reading
the book of James in the bible. It is short and uncomplicated, and it gives great advise about the danger of "words". I find that I often need to show great self-control in this area.
" The tongue is the smallest part of the body but is the most dangerous. A great forest can be set on fire by just a spark. In the same way, the mouth also can be a fire...it can corrept the whole person and destroy the course of ones life with words." James 3:5 and 6 (paraphrased)
I am hoping
that Summer is having a wounderful time at camp. I hope she is safe and is learning about God and making lots of friends, and I hope that she is looking forward to coming home because I have missed her so much.
I am hearing
the crunch of Cheetos in my ear. I feel the pecking of a cheesy finger on my shoulder and the sweet little words of my son asking me if he can have an Ale81 to go along with the chips that he is eating at 10 in the morning. Excuse me a moment while I tell him no and wipe the cheese off my shirt.
Around the house
Both the little ones are sleeping, the kittens are playing in the house, the wet dog is still outside glaring at me thru the window, JD is watching Disney channel, and there is lots to be cleaning so I need to finish this up.
One of my favorite things
my porch swing that Jeff got me for my 29th birthday last year. This year for my 29th birthday I think I'll ask for a gift certificate to my new favorite clothing store, and next year for my 29th birthday, I am planning on asking for new paint in my bedroom.
*May you see the blessing in whatever it is that you are doing this very moment.*
Friday, June 13, 2008
The Stare Down
I have this rule in my house and among my family, no adult is to EVER be the first to look away when one of my children has initiated a stare down. You may be thinking, "Why does Gina care if she loses a staring contest with the kids?" Listen closely...as a parent of a toddler, two former toddlers and a soon to be toddler this is valuable advise!
There will come a time when your child understands what the word 'NO' means, he will understand what your 'mean face' looks like (if you don't have a mean face, get one immediately). Undoubtedly, there will also come a time when your precious toddler will test his limits to see how serious you are when you say 'NO'.
The other day, my sweet baby Colton was climbing on the dining room chair. I told him NO and removed him from the chair. No sooner had I turned to walk back into the kitchen, than the little bugger started pulling himself up on the chair again. I immediately turned around, abruptly pulled him away from the chair, knelt down and said in my stern mommy voice with my 'mean face', "Mommy said NO."
And the stare down began! Colton stood there still as a statue as if he were hoping that I might forget he was there...eyes dead locked on mine. I had a bazillion things to do but I knew that I had to let him know how serious I was and that meant not moving. No grinning, winking, standing up, speaking, hugging, looking away, negotiating, NOTHING. His face was as serious as mine and I wanted so badly to just pick him up and smother him in kisses but I couldn't...a lesson was being learned, and an important lesson at that...
"I have to do what Mommy tells me, period."
Now listen carefully parents...
We cannot always use redirection as a tool. We cannot remove from our homes every single potential hazard. We cannot always discipline by spanking (although I do spank my children when it's appropriate). At some point our little ones have to learn what NO means and they have to learn who is in charge (that would be the parent by the way, in case there is any confusion). And this lesson can be taught in the form of the stare down. It's really quite simple, if he wins he's in charge and will most likely return to whatever he was doing that got him in 'trouble' to begin with...if a passive sweet "No honey" is what you consider 'trouble'. But if you win, then your in charge and this is the goal.
Teaching your child to obey you is not taking away your child's individuality or curiosity. It's not being strict or unkind or demeaning to the child. It's not teaching them to fear you or any of that bull cah-cah that the world would have you to believe. It's teaching them to understand boundaries...often for there own safety. It's teaching them to respect and appreciate the material things that you are providing for your children by not destroying them. It's teaching them to respect you and in
turn receive respect and praise for good behavior, which will make them feel good about who they are and the decisions that they make.
Will Colton test his boundaries again? Most definitely, he tried to climb on the table again last night, but to my surprise Jeff handled to beautifully, stare down and all. The important thing is that Colton learns that we are in charge. And not just because we are the parents and we're trying to be mean by asserting our authority...because God has made us responsible for our children, and in the end God will hold us responsible for the way that we raised them.
He has given us these children and expects us to not only love and cuddle and play with them, but to also teach and instruct them about what is appropriate. To teach them to be generous,kind, humble, to be helpful and respectful to others. All of these lessons are taught by example, enforced by discipline, and encouraged with lots of praise.
Parents, do not be afraid to discipline your children in public, whether that be in church, a restaurant, at a friends house, the ball park, or anywhere else. Parenting does not stop just because you are in public. Many times I have told a waitress in the middle of ordering my food to please give me a few moments to help my children calm down. If my kids start acting up while I am speaking to someone that I have run into, I have no problem stopping the conversation for a moment to quickly tell my children what I expect of them and what the consequences will be if they continue to misbehave. My children know what I mean when I say, "Do we need to go to the bathroom and discuss this?" That has never been as empty threat, but rather a place to speak sternly and most likely to have their butt busted for continuing to be disobedient. I have NEVER left a public place because my children were misbehaving, and I won't. I will deal with bad behavior on the spot no matter where I am or who is around me. And my children will be better for it.
My mom was a strict parent, she had to be. With three daughters, the first time she let something slip by without it being corrected, we would have taken her out! It never occurred to me that she was out numbered, all I knew was that I had better do what I was told and do it the first time because the consequences were crystal clear. As we got older, she didn't even have to go over all the details of her expectations of us in public. All she would say is, "Girls, you know what I expect of you."
Sometimes I feel like I am too lenient on my children, I feel like there are things that I let slip out of pure exhaustion and I wonder if they notice or if it gives them the fuel to push the envelope a little further. However, the other day my (strict-never let them get one over on you) mom admitted something to me...she lost a stare down between her and Colton.
I have been a mother for almost 9 years now and I have NEVER lost a stare down...I feel redeemed!
There will come a time when your child understands what the word 'NO' means, he will understand what your 'mean face' looks like (if you don't have a mean face, get one immediately). Undoubtedly, there will also come a time when your precious toddler will test his limits to see how serious you are when you say 'NO'.
The other day, my sweet baby Colton was climbing on the dining room chair. I told him NO and removed him from the chair. No sooner had I turned to walk back into the kitchen, than the little bugger started pulling himself up on the chair again. I immediately turned around, abruptly pulled him away from the chair, knelt down and said in my stern mommy voice with my 'mean face', "Mommy said NO."
And the stare down began! Colton stood there still as a statue as if he were hoping that I might forget he was there...eyes dead locked on mine. I had a bazillion things to do but I knew that I had to let him know how serious I was and that meant not moving. No grinning, winking, standing up, speaking, hugging, looking away, negotiating, NOTHING. His face was as serious as mine and I wanted so badly to just pick him up and smother him in kisses but I couldn't...a lesson was being learned, and an important lesson at that...
"I have to do what Mommy tells me, period."
Now listen carefully parents...
We cannot always use redirection as a tool. We cannot remove from our homes every single potential hazard. We cannot always discipline by spanking (although I do spank my children when it's appropriate). At some point our little ones have to learn what NO means and they have to learn who is in charge (that would be the parent by the way, in case there is any confusion). And this lesson can be taught in the form of the stare down. It's really quite simple, if he wins he's in charge and will most likely return to whatever he was doing that got him in 'trouble' to begin with...if a passive sweet "No honey" is what you consider 'trouble'. But if you win, then your in charge and this is the goal.
Teaching your child to obey you is not taking away your child's individuality or curiosity. It's not being strict or unkind or demeaning to the child. It's not teaching them to fear you or any of that bull cah-cah that the world would have you to believe. It's teaching them to understand boundaries...often for there own safety. It's teaching them to respect and appreciate the material things that you are providing for your children by not destroying them. It's teaching them to respect you and in
turn receive respect and praise for good behavior, which will make them feel good about who they are and the decisions that they make.
Will Colton test his boundaries again? Most definitely, he tried to climb on the table again last night, but to my surprise Jeff handled to beautifully, stare down and all. The important thing is that Colton learns that we are in charge. And not just because we are the parents and we're trying to be mean by asserting our authority...because God has made us responsible for our children, and in the end God will hold us responsible for the way that we raised them.
He has given us these children and expects us to not only love and cuddle and play with them, but to also teach and instruct them about what is appropriate. To teach them to be generous,kind, humble, to be helpful and respectful to others. All of these lessons are taught by example, enforced by discipline, and encouraged with lots of praise.
Parents, do not be afraid to discipline your children in public, whether that be in church, a restaurant, at a friends house, the ball park, or anywhere else. Parenting does not stop just because you are in public. Many times I have told a waitress in the middle of ordering my food to please give me a few moments to help my children calm down. If my kids start acting up while I am speaking to someone that I have run into, I have no problem stopping the conversation for a moment to quickly tell my children what I expect of them and what the consequences will be if they continue to misbehave. My children know what I mean when I say, "Do we need to go to the bathroom and discuss this?" That has never been as empty threat, but rather a place to speak sternly and most likely to have their butt busted for continuing to be disobedient. I have NEVER left a public place because my children were misbehaving, and I won't. I will deal with bad behavior on the spot no matter where I am or who is around me. And my children will be better for it.
My mom was a strict parent, she had to be. With three daughters, the first time she let something slip by without it being corrected, we would have taken her out! It never occurred to me that she was out numbered, all I knew was that I had better do what I was told and do it the first time because the consequences were crystal clear. As we got older, she didn't even have to go over all the details of her expectations of us in public. All she would say is, "Girls, you know what I expect of you."
Sometimes I feel like I am too lenient on my children, I feel like there are things that I let slip out of pure exhaustion and I wonder if they notice or if it gives them the fuel to push the envelope a little further. However, the other day my (strict-never let them get one over on you) mom admitted something to me...she lost a stare down between her and Colton.
I have been a mother for almost 9 years now and I have NEVER lost a stare down...I feel redeemed!
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