Have you ever heard of the book, Tuesday's With Morrie? Well this is my rendition.
Last Tuesday morning my sister, Dede, took JD to school because Jeff and I had a stomach virus. As my sister pulled into the school parking lot, she and I were on the phone talking and I hear her say, "Oh my gosh! He just puked in MY CAR!" Click...
Yes, JD had vomited all over the front seat of Dede's new car, and in her (much needed) morning coffee. My sister is a sympathy puker, so she couldn't even clean up the mess. She pulled her car over and my mother had to go rescue JD and Dede from the disaster.
This morning my usual 5:30 alarm didn't go off until 6:30, that was my fault, but none-the-less everyone was in a hurry! I packed a "to-go" breakfast of OJ and pop tarts for Summer and JD, which (I must add) was against my better judgement because JD spilled Gatorade in my van yesterday and I grounded him from eating or drinking in any vehicle thru the end of the month. BUT...I can't send my kids to school without breakfast so I just fixed something easy and hoped for the best.
And you'll never guess what happened...never...
Jeff called me after he dropped the kids off and told me that his truck seat was sopping wet. "He either peed in the seat or he spilled the darn orange juice! Either way, his pants have got to be soaked." I called his teacher and explained what was going on and sure enough, she said he was soaking wet and had admitted to spilling his juice in the truck.
What a surprise! My JD? Spilling something? Surely not?!?!
So as fast as I could, I dressed Colton, Sydney and myself, ironed a clean pair of shorts, put everything and everyone in the van and, with much haste, traveled down Levee Road...which is not a road to travel down hastily, by the way.
Now listen carefully, I am NOT making this up! As soon as I turned onto the road, this elderly man pulls out of his driveway in front of me. This is the same man who ALWAYS gets in front of me when I am in a mad hurry. He drives soooo sslllllowlyyy, like 20-25 mph all the way into town! It irritates me so badly! I swear, I think there is somebody who tells him when I am late and in a hurry because that is the only time that I see him on the road, and he always quickly pulls out of his driveway and then slows down to a snail's pace!
As if it isn't bad enough to be stuck behind 'him', as we travel down the road at 22 mph we come upon a school bus. So now, I am not only driving as slow as molasses on a cold winter's day, but I am also having to stop every 2 minutes to let some kid board the bus. As this little brigade moves on down the Levee, a tractor pulls onto the road in front of the bus.
So let's do a recap...I am in a terrible hurry because JD spilled OJ on himself and is sitting at school in wet pants waiting for me to bring him a change of clothes. I am stuck behind an old man who thinks he is driving a horse carriage, who is behind a school bus picking up children, who is behind a tractor. I am now driving at between 12 and 15 MPH, still stopping every few minutes so a child can get on the bus.
It gets better...they have started doing construction on Levee Road! SOOO...the tractor, which is in front of the bus which is in front of the old man which is in front of me gets stopped for 4 minutes (for crying out loud!) waiting ...waiting...waiting to pass thru the road construction zone.
55 minutes after I spoke with JD's teacher, I finally arrived at the school to drop off his clothes, but before I could even walk thru the front doors I had to drag Sydney in and wrangle Colton to the ground at least half a dozen times!
For the love of all that is good and merciful...is anything ever easy?!
By the way, I am looking for someone to keep JD next Monday night and get him to school on Tuesday, any volunteers?