Tuesday, June 30, 2009

Well, Shut My Mouth!

Transparency stinks!

However, I know as christians we are called to be transparent with our lives and most important, our short-comings so that we do not block others from seeing Christ. Non-believers and even some believers will take the transparency of christians and make judgements. They will say things like, " If that's what a christian is then I don't want to be one," or " I have seen how that person acts and they have the nerve to call themselves a christian!"

Well, let me share with you some of the milder ugliness that I have displayed...and yes, I am a christian woman.

*I threw a complete hissy-fit at one of JD's baseball games, in front of everyone! I growled at the umpire like a lion, and then after the game tried to justify my actions because it was a bad call. Complete Ugliness!

*I lost my temper on the phone to someone who so desperately needs to see Jesus in me instead of this-> "@#^$(*&#%(@#&$(*&%!!!!!!" Complete Ugliness!

*I often will hear the kids mouth-off from the back seat of the van to another vehicle. I always try to correct it but I also KNOW that they are only mimicking my actions and words from an earlier moment of frustration. Complete Ugliness!

*I have found myself listening and participating with a group of people who are "sharing information" about another person. I have justified this by saying something flipped like, " Well, we need to really pray for that family." Gossip! Complete Ugliness!

I'm tellin' ya, I am in a constant struggle with my mouth. James 1: 26 says, "If a person considers himself a christian but does not keep a tight rein on his tongue, he deceives himself and his religion is worthless." WORTHLESS! As I read James chapter 3, I feel like God is just spanking my backside! "The tongue is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole person, sets the whole course of his life on fire,..." Sometimes I think God should give me laryngitis. Or how about this, I think God should send me into a coughing fit every time I get mouthy...just to shut me up. As much as a pray for the right words to say and for wisdom to control my mouth, it still seems to run-a-muck despite my best intentions.

Some of my biggest regrets are things that I have said, things that I cannot take back. Times when I embarrassed people around me because I didn't have enough discernment to just shut-up. Times when I didn't have enough self-control to not participate in a conversation...times when I should have just walked away. As God continues to mold me into the woman he wants me to be, I know that he will work intensely on this short-coming. I also know that as I improve, as I gain wisdom, discernment, and self-control, it is not me...but God who should receive the praise.


  1. Isn't it great that He loves us so much anyway!

    When you are feeling bad about this listen to the song 'Beloved' by Tenth Avenue North.


    - s

  2. It says in the Old Testament about Samuel,the prophet, that "None of his words fell to the ground." In other words--His words never were wasted. Because of that people really listened every time he spoke. To me that is so amazing! Why, because I am constantly wading neck high in my words over the years. Most everything I say falls to the ground laying there for me to trip over daily. You are not alone in this Gina. The tongue is mastered by few. DianeW.